I don't buy the accusation that all who oppose gender inclusive bathrooms are bigots because there are parents with daughters who live in the real world who fear for situations such as this: https://www.theblaze.com/news/2017/10/20/transgender-woman-convicted-of-sexually-assaulting-10-year-old-girl-in-bathroom Aside from that, I remember when I attended Cal State Long Beach in the 1990's when there were multiple occasions where female students were warned that sexual predators were attacking women in the women's restroom during evening class hours. The school posted warning fliers all over campus and made sure they were posted specifically on the doors of each women's restroom with a strong recommendation that female students not enter any restroom alone after dark.
And this was at a time when no transgender man was allowed in the women's restroom!
Sorry folks, but that stayed with me even after I left college because I was scared for my female classmates, which also included my college sweetheart who later became my wife. And one would have to be foolish to think that my college campus was the only place where such a thing occurred. Now, having a daughter myself I don't just look back at a horrible memory but also at the fear of what could happen in the future. For these reasons alone I don't think it's worth the risk to allow biological men in the women's restroom because even one sexual assault is one too many.
Meanwhile, I remembered seeing transgender people on campus and of course at that time never wondered which restroom they would use because no one ever gave it a second thought. Thankfully, today's world has broadened my vision.
After having children I really appreciated the family restrooms you see at most malls because I preferred to change my kids in private and appreciated the toddler sized toilets that my kids could use as they went through toilet training. These restrooms also allowed me to be there with them with enough room to spare in order to make them feel comfortable since they were already in an unfamiliar room but now without strangers whose presence could make them feel uncomfortable.
Years later I started to hear people discuss the idea of a gender inclusive restroom. At first I thought such an idea was ridiculous but it didn't long for me to change my mind once I remembered my experience using the family restrooms. That is because those who installed these restrooms addressed the needs of those with small children, which of course does not include everyone that shops at the mall. Still, it told parents who wanted a little more privacy for their children that their concerns were valid and that these malls would do what they could to address that need.
Please remember that thought.
Then I really started to think about the issue from the perspective of the transgender community and realized that the traditional public bathroom could in fact be most awkward for them. If a biological man wears a dress I could see why he wouldn't be comfortable entering the men's room. However, even though this person identifies as a woman they still might feel uncomfortable using the women's room because they may not want to frighten a woman who might get the wrong idea about his reason for being there (imagine the 10 year old victim from the shared story as well as her female relatives). Like it or not, the transgender person is a member of our society and most likely a tax payer (had to put that in here since people in our society focus so much on money) so I don't see why their needs or most importantly, why their concerns should to be ignored.
Some might call the addition of gender inclusive bathrooms as a waste of tax money because of the belief that the percentage of such people is rather small but that is not a good enough reason not to provide such facilities. Family bathrooms are not always used by those with children and could possibly not be used for hours at a time but at least the option is available to parents who prefer to address the needs of their children in private. Why couldn't that option exist for those who aren't comfortable using the men's or women's room?
Further, why do we assume that gender inclusive restrooms will only be used by transgender people? There have in fact been various men and women who have stated openly that they could care less what type of person is in a public restroom with them so they too would probably use the gender inclusive restroom. And let's not forget women who are tired of those long lines in the women's restroom. If they want to use the gender inclusive restroom then more power to them. For those reasons alone I say a facility is getting their money's worth to invest in such restrooms.
The main problem here are those from both sides of the aisle who want to make this a black and white issue. I think it's safe to say that such people are in fact partners in crime because they want our society to take the my way of the highway approach. First, we have those who do not want to consider the possibility of creating an gender inclusive bathroom. Then we have those who want to blur the gender gap all together. Like other political extremists they are only thinking of their point of view and are pompous enough to expect the rest of us to conform to everything that they want.
This is the United States of America and like many other people I have my own moral persuasion and believe my point of view to be correct, at least most of the time. But I also realize that we will never agree on everything so we have find a way to live in harmony. We have churches and public places known as the gay community. We have libraries and adult entertainment shops. We have amusement parks and casinos. Some people disagree with and/or disapprove of those who frequent some of these places but yet these people are still allowed to go where they wish. No one is forced to go to any of these places against their will so why can't we be just as diverse with the types of public restrooms we provide for our citizens?
I do not agree with the idea of allowing a man to use the women's restroom or vice versa. However, I totally support the idea of providing gender inclusive bathrooms for those who choose to use them so long as we maintain the option of the men's, women's and family restroom. As far as I'm concerned that should make everyone happy because no one's needs are being ignored in the discussion.
If this is still not good enough then I guess the only option we have is to remodel all of our public bathrooms and create individual stalls for all while hopefully still providing family bathrooms for those with children. That way we can all have something in common, which is total privacy while we go about our business. If it were up to me I would go that route because we are all used to having such privacy at home, which is why some of us have a hard time relaxing in public.
We have already seen the results of forcing our agenda on others. States like North Carolina have lost big business from entities who disapprove of their strict public restroom law. Then there is Target who took a big financial hit thanks to their CEO telling mothers that their concerns were not important enough to him to cater to the needs of his customers since he wanted gender inclusive bathrooms. (Now Walgreens has given into such lobbyists so we'll wait to see how that will impact their bottom line). Meanwhile, there have been other cases of women being attacked other than the 10 year old girl in the story shared in this blog. To ignore such realities in order to push one's agenda is both selfish and irresponsible.
So we can finish this debate by adding an extra restroom or should we continue fighting over this nonsense because of those who are unwilling to compromise? Meanwhile, our roads need fixing, our schools need improvement, our Veterans need to be cared for and too many people are still sleeping outside with nothing in their bellies.
There are more important things in life than this.
Carlos Arthur Solorzano
@csolorzano18
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