Standing On Top Of The World

I can already tell that it's going to be a really busy summer and that's usually how I like it. While the regular tasks of a school year keep me away from many of my interests the summer allows me some time to indulge undisturbed in my other loves, which are music, writing, cycling, studying and most importantly, time with my family. But there are times when the weight of the word can wear you down so I was lucky enough to have a chance to lift myself up a bit.

Last week I celebrated my 44th birthday and in all honesty I am still processing what it means to be where I am in my life right now. My marriage will reach its second decade sooner than later, my oldest child will start high school sooner than he would like to and my baby girl will reach double digits age wise in less than a year. I am also looking at what I have accomplished in my teaching, music and writing careers and while I am pleased at where I am thus far I must admit that I feel a sense of uncertainty in terms of where I will be in the next few years. In the deepest part of my heart I can feel that I am in a place where my life is going to go through some big changes just like it did when I was in my mid-thirties. In a lot of ways that excites me but at the same time I do feel a bit worn down by many of the things I endured these past several months.

So I needed a spark and I am lucky enough to have the chance to get away for a while. Right now I am at a conference outside of Philadelphia, PA with the Theology of the Body Institute and it's amazing how each trip out here seems to address exactly what I am dealing with at that particular moment in my life. But before I got on the shuttle to take me to my conference I knew I had to make a side trip. Even though this is my sixth trip to the Institute I had never gone into the city as I just waited to do what I had to do during my week of study. This week had to be different as I could feel in my heart that I needed a boost to my confidence along with a little boost of enthusiasm.

Yesterday morning I took the train into town before I caught a cab that took me to the Philadelphia Museum of Art, which I soon saw was a place where many people go to for inspiration.  Aside from tourists there were the locals who included this place in their morning runs with everyone feeling a sense of empowerment once they arrived to this famous site.

I have been a fan of the Rocky movies since 1976 when a then four year old me saw the first film with his family. I have seen each one in the theater since including the latest offshoot film Creed and love each one of them. Each film speaks to me in one way or another and I don't feel the need to justify that to anyone. If you get it, fine. If you don't, fine. 

It was awesome to stand in front of this statue but I must say that I had just as much fulfillment in watching other people do the same thing because their reactions very inspiring. Most people stood with their hands up in the air or with their fists out as if they were ready to fight. Each stance of course was a positive thing to view because they either stood in glory or stood ready to take on whatever challenge stood in front of them. It was really uplifting for me because I didn't expect to feel that way when I saw other enjoy this famous Philadelphia landmark.

Honestly, I thought the statue would be the thing that I would enjoy the most but it was actually the famous steps that Rocky ran up on multiple occasions that really got to me. There I was, standing where so many people dream to be and right away I found myself running. I made it all the way up and it felt great. To my surprise I felt something as amazing as I did the first time I accomplished many of the things that I have accomplished throughout my life. I can't explain why I felt this way but I did. At first I thought that it was because I am a big fan of the Rocky films but it was much more than that. I thought a lot about all that I had been dealing with the past several months and it was as if I exorcised all of those frustrations out of my system. So I found myself at the bottom of the staircase two more times for two more sprints. Again, the amazing feeling returned and all I could do was smile.

I stood at the top and thought about some of my favorite scenes in film history: Rocky standing there knowing that he was about to take on the great Heavyweight Champion Apollo Creed, Rocky standing there with his son after healing his relationship with his son, Rocky training for his last boxing match and of course, him walking up the steps with Adonis Creed as he prepared to take on the fight for his life. It was almost as if I were there with this fictitious character telling him that just like him I will fight for all that I believe in.

When I looked out towards the city I felt like I could see the world. I sent pictures to my wife, my mom and my closest friends just to show them that I was in fact on top of the world. I remember my mom and best friend asked how I felt and I said that I couldn't put it into words but that it was amazing because I felt like I could do anything.

And I will.

I have some new drumming ideas to work on and am determined to perform some of them when I return to the Tucson Morning Blend morning show next month.  

I have new some songs that need to be finished in terms of the recording process along with some new ideas that I need to write and record.

I have to proof and make changes to my book An Early Apocalypse while also working on new ideas. Yes, the editing and publishing process take a long time but the artist in me wants to get these things done.

I have classes to prepare for next year including  new class that I have never taught before that I am looking forward to teaching for the first time.

Meanwhile, I am already learning a lot of stuff at my conference right now and can already see how I can apply a lot of this material to my classes along with the parish talks I do from time to time.

Someone could say that all of this could be a bit overwhelming and they're probably right. When that happens I will just go back to that moment when I stood on top of the world and refuse the possibility of defeat.


Carlos Arthur Solorzano
@csolorzano18